Friday at 2:16 PM
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Mayhem.
Wednesday at 7:53 PM
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freneticaesthetics:

crappy photo.
Wednesday at 7:41 PM
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slavingggg in the tech center.
Monday at 6:28 PM
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thisshitrightherenigguh:

I was proud of my puff today.
Sunday at 2:30 PM
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Soopuh kawaii in ma leotard. Fr3$h 2 d34f* Get at meh lighhhh.
Saturday at 9:35 PM
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Hiatus.
Friday at 12:31 PM
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Coogi. And my fro is back. 😎
Wednesday at 11:36 PM
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Currently creeping all over your dash.
Monday at 4:58 PM
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My two page spread for Human Behavior & the Photographic Image. We’re making a class magazine.
I love how its coming along; I’m proud of me for thinking to do an AA themed spread. I’m just horrible at talking about myself. 😔
Monday at 1:44 AM
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currently. lmfaooooooo.
Tuesday at 9:27 PM
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I am the author of my own life story.
Once upon a time, a sentence got tough…
But I chose not to end it.
To them, it’s like I was born with the mark of the beast carved into my forehead.
People see my scars and they don’t understand.
They think it’s stupid. They call me stupid.
Dramatic. Attention seeking. Crazy.
Even the ones who don’t say anything, I notice the ways they look at me differently.
When I wear short sleeves they can’t look away. Those who do can’t seem to look at me for too long. Their eyes want to wander down neck & along my collar bone to caress the line drawn from my left shoulder to my elbow.
I tried to be considerate. A couple years of cocoa butter. A few months of aloe. Shea butter made them itchy so I scratched them until they bled. I tried to be considerate, I wanted them to disappear as bad as I once wanted myself to.
As embedded as my memories, my scars are still there just like the people who still stare and call me stupid.
Dramatic. Attention seeking. Crazy.
& I forgive them, because people naturally reject what they don’t understand.
~
Self hate is a powerful thing. It’s one thing to kick yourself for doing something stupid or be upset with yourself for a while. But nobody truly knows how powerful self hate is unless they’ve been there.
It’s you and your mind at war, nobody can save you because you want to destroy yourself for everything you’ve ever felt and everything you’ve ever done. Hate, true hate, manifests itself inside of you through depression, fear, and self harm. It eats at you and grows bigger and blacker and absorbs every particle of your life. It completely drains you and you don’t realize how bad it is until you’re fully there.
And the worst part is, it doesn’t hurt because you’re already numb.
For some, cutting is the only way they’re able to feel. For some, cutting is the only way to ask for help. For some, cutting is the only way to know they’re still living, even though they might not be alive.
So before you reject something you don’t understand, understand that people are fragile. Even the strongest people get weak. I’m a tough cookie, so the things people say or think of me when they see my scars no longer phases me. It took me some time. My scars are like medals to me because I won that war. Self hate grew into self love, tenfold. But others may still be in the midst of their battle. Love them. Be understanding. Watch what you say. Open your mind and reject ignorant thoughts. Most importantly, be aware.
Everyone’s hurting, everyone’s broken. But we have to make life worth living for each other and for ourselves.
We can start by keeping our stories going.
Be strong. I love you all.
-Akasha
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