Every time I speak to my mother I start to see new cracks. I’ve been spending all my life trying to figure out how to plaster them or what to plaster them with. Life is a gift. I enjoy beautiful things. Poetry. Colors. Art. Naked bodies. Good literature. Good music. Good conversation. Jazz and hip hop flow through my left & right ventricles. These are the things I fill myself with. I’ll fill myself with so much of them that there will be no emptiness. No broken. I’m open and I’ve grown to accept the things I’ve endured. The month of May will be for recovery. I love myself, but not enough yet. I don’t love where I’ve been, and I have to do that before I deal with anything. I don’t want to be with anyone until I’m whole. The month of May will be for becoming whole. I have so many great things on my plate despite the fact that there always seems to be chaos falling down all around me. The universe balances itself. Everything is about balance. This summer will bare a new me.